The Transporter

There is a man on the moon who got stuck there, responding to an ad on the internet some time ago.

There was a retired scientist who had been kicked out of the space program and stolen everything you’d need to build a spaceship. “Live on the moon” it said, “Far away from everything”, and that sounded good to its one respondent.

His name we don’t know, but he lived in a basement and hid from everyone, people made him nervous.

He lived on hungry man meals and thought he’d quite like the taste of space food, and he dreamed of the quiet of uninterrupted atmosphere.

So in the middle of the night in 1997 he got in a rickety old thing and had himself launched into the stratosphere. It worked all right, he landed, with enough supplied to last him some 40 odd years so long as he didn’t move too far and for a while, things seemed to work out for him, a silence of that magnitude is hard to find after all.

But eventually the silence became hard on his ears, and the lack of day and night stifling. He missed having people to ignore.

The old scientist would correspond with him via morse code, and the man started begging to come back.

“Ah, I’m sorry”, the scientist said, “I did not anticipate for this.”

The man on the moon still lives there, writing help in the dust as it blows away. He didn’t realize, you see, that there is a back of the moon that nobody ever goes to, and that’s right smack dab where he sits.

He gets to watch tv and eat unlimited hungry-man dinners, and he was right about one thing, they do taste the same. But if you’re looking for some sort of lesson from this odd little story, it’s to never get into a spaceship you haven’t seen before.

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